Creating The Life You Desire
What do you think of when you hear the word spaciousness? The very word makes me want to inhale; I feel my body’s desire to stretch when I contemplate spaciousness. It’s as if just by contemplating the word or focusing on it, I am somehow informed. Focused attention is one great way to create spaciousness within ourselves. If I place my focus and attention on my breath , I can begin to connect with it. I can notice if my diaphragm is tight or if my breaths are shallow (from the chest) or deeper (from the lower abdomen).
Spaciousness is one of the most precious gifts I can give myself over and over again. Last week was rough for me. It was nothing in particular; it was everything. My mind moved too fast, my body was tired, I was being very critical of myself, and I found myself in a general state of overwhelm for three or four days. I am a very sensitive person. I am sensitive to people, my surroundings, what I eat and my emotions.
What does sensitive mean to you? For some people, it means one is easily moved to react. One who is able to pick up on subtleties that others may miss is also considered to e sensitive. I have been sensitive since I was a child. I am easily affected by things within and around me. I am highly intuitive, and I am also easily agitated or stirred up. I get anxious when trying new things. I get overwhelmed if I am tired and someone starts asking me a lot of questions. As a human, I have my quirks - we all do.
But how about instead of judging ourselves for our quirks, we combine our sensitivity with spaciousness? Let’s explore some new territory and begin to move throughout our days and life with more freedom. Does that sound good to you? It sounds great to me! So, what do I mean when I say combining our sensitivity with spaciousness? We are often aware of our feelings, habits, and patterns, and maybe less often are we aware of what’s underneath.
Last week, for example, I felt extremely fatigued. I became very disheartened by my fatigue because I am very focused on nourishing my dreams right now, and this means I have multiple projects I am managing right now. On top of that, I am a live-in caretaker for an eighty-three-year-old man, which is a round-the-clock job. Even just to write this, I have to create a space in between my duties. This is now my sixth blog, and not one has been written in one sitting. They are usually written over the span of two days, woven in between cooking meals, taking care of the house, watering the yard, and a myriad of other tasks.
Today I woke up and joined a zoom with a group of people who practice Cobra Breath ( an ancient Kriya Yoga practice ). To learn more about Cosmic Cobra Breath, go here.
Afterward, I sat in the yard and recorded a live video for my Facebook page called Creators of New Earth. If you are on Facebook, please join us there. We would love to have you. This is part of a multi-faceted dream that I am weaving together to create an online community, of which this blog is a part. You can find the page here.
I mention the practice and the live video because I am speaking about weaving spaciousness into my life (between all my daily tasks) in order to create the life I desire. All of us are faced with the challenge of making space for our everyday life, our spiritual path, and nurturing our dreams. Today when I woke up, I nurtured my spirit, then I got on FB and nurtured my dream, now I am writing this blog. Somehow, in the midst of my busy life, I managed to find space to do these things today.
Before the online zoom, I felt tired; I was considering trading in my practice for more sleep.
Knowing how much my practice nourishes me, I chose the practice. I literally made space ( spaciousness ) for my practice. Spaciousness is a dance of choices. I could have made a choice to sleep a little longer. Had I done that, my day may have taken a completely different direction. I could have watered the flowers in the yard instead of making a live video. I followed my passion instead. So now, I will water the flowers later tonight.
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Instead of allowing my mind to contract with a thought like, “ I have so much to do, I don’t want to water the flowers. “ I can create spaciousness in my mind by thinking, “ Watering the flowers will give me a peaceful space in which I can be alone and quiet as I commune with nature ‘. The former is a limiting and contracted state of mind, while the latter is more spacious.
Learning to Listen
It is easier to hear myself when I pause. Last week when I was feeling exhausted and fatigued, I became very worried. I wondered if maybe I was dehydrated or if I was missing a key nutrient. I started to wonder if maybe it was my endocrine system. Of course, it’s good to check in with myself and see if any of those things are part of the equation, but the most glaringly obvious thing was that my body was crying out for rest. I kept trying to push myself, but I couldn’t, and I kept falling asleep. I would come into my bedroom with the intent of resting for a few minutes, and my intended fifteen-minute catnaps turned into much longer naps.
I would wake up even more overwhelmed because upon waking; I felt even more behind on my list of things to do. I wondered what had happened to that sweet spot rhythm I had found where I was managing to do all the things I needed and wanted to do in a day that seemed more effortless than my current week. So, I finally gave in and listened to my body. I went to bed early and woke up late, and took a nap in the middle of the day. If I had not done that, my body may have gotten sick in order to produce the same result.
When your mind is going too fast and bossing you around, and it’s all over the place, and you feel scattered, it’s telling you, “I need a break.“ For me, meditating breathing or being in nature are three things that help calm my mind. For you, maybe it’s music, journaling or reading, or dancing. The important thing is that you listen to what is being asked of you, and you create space to do it. Sometimes our mind wants rest; sometimes, it’s our body. Sometimes our creative self wants to come out and play. Sometimes our emotions want to be expressed instead of bottled up. Sometimes we are way too serious, and we need to let our inner child surface and just play and lighten up and have some fun!
It’s easy amid the hustle and bustle of everyday life to tell yourself you are too busy. And you know what? We ARE too busy! We will always be too busy unless we create a life that includes more spaciousness. Maybe you like your life just the way it is. If you don’t like your life just the way it is, the only thing that will change it, is to take a look at the things you want to change and then make those things a priority. It does not have to be everything all at once. Pick one thing and start there. What do you want most?
Many people would like more time. Wanting more time means looking at how our time is spent.
The modern age leaves us with little free time, sometimes working two or three jobs just to survive. To maintain a house and pay bills and prepare meals all takes time and energy too. Many people also have children, and any parent knows how much time and energy that takes. Life can easily become a treadmill that you can’t get off.
Where to Start
If we really want to make way for more time, or a new life, it means being willing to be vulnerable enough to take an honest look at your life. Your lifestyle directly determines the way you spend your time. If you live beyond your means, you will be stuck with debt, pressure, and stress, spending money before you make it. If you eat out a lot, it will cost you a lot of money and eventually take a toll on your health. If you own a lot of things, that will also cost you time and energy. If you have a disorganized home, you will spend a lot of time and money, looking for things things you already have and buying things but can’t find.
The list is endless. Where do you start, especially if you are already overwhelmed? A good place to start is to think about what you are willing to relinquish in order to have something you want. For example, you may claim you don’t have enough time, but maybe you watch too many movies or too much t.v. . Are you willing to get rid of your t.v., or cut off your subscription to Netflix? Maybe you want to take a vacation, but you don’t have enough money. Is there something you can stop spending money on like eating out or purchasing expensive coffee drinks on the way to work?
Bartering is another way to find ways of doing things. Maybe you know someone who cleans houses or who does astrology readings, and you are a yoga teacher. Can you offer the house cleaner some yoga classes in equal exchange of value for some house cleaning? Use your imagination to think of ways of creating more time for yourself or ways of accessing things that seem out of your reach.
Here is a great website that will allow you to see what’s possible with bartering goods and services. It also gives you resources that can help you to more easily get rid of things.
Less is More
Minimalism is an idea whose time has come. It is a movement that is sweeping the globe. In a culture that is continuously persuading us to buy more and own more, we are finally deciding that too much is too much. I recently got rid of 90% of everything I own in order to make way for a more simple life ( my ultimate goal ). Life is never simple, but the less we have to maintain and take care of, the more spaciousness we have for the things that matter most. I do not know what your ideal life looks like, but mine is having all the time I want to nurture my creative passions, take care of my body, and cultivate my spiritual evolution.
The first big step I took in service to those goals was to relinquish most of my belongings. Spaciousness is not merely a concept. It is a space you create when you remove something to create space for something else. If you want to declutter your mind, then you spend time meditating. If you want to declutter your house, then you get rid of things. If you want a more simple life, then you remove the things that make it complex. The less we have to maintain and take care of, the more space we have to nurture our lives and the events that take place that need our love, care, and attention. Simply put, if you simplify your life, you will be able to focus on the stuff OF life (events) rather than the stuff IN your life (details and objects).
There are 300,000 items in the average American ( USA ) home. How on Earth can you do a good job taking care of 300,000 items? Think of the hours spent collecting all of that and maintaining all of that. Think of the toll that takes on the planet - just the packaging alone! Wow! Here are 21 mind-blowing statistics about Americans and our stuff.
You Can Do Anything
No one knows for sure how long they will live. You get one lifetime in your current body. It is of utmost importance to ask yourself if the life you are living is living you, or are you living life? Are you thriving or surviving? What do you really want? Is the life you are living the life you want to be living? If you could imagine your life exactly as you would like it to be, does it look similar to your life now, or does it look totally different?
These questions are deep, and they are also important. Our whole life, we hear statements like, “Well, you can’t have it all,” or “Life's a bitch, and then you die,” “ Nobody said life was fair. “ Is that really the way we want to walk around feeling about life? What is your attitude about life? Is it one of resignation, or is it one of excitement and gratitude, or is it somewhere in between.
What are you willing to do for yourself in order to live the life you want? What are you willing to relinquish so that something else you desire may take its place? Where does your life feel cramped, and what can you do to create more spaciousness there?
Fully Being With What Is
No matter what challenges you have faced or will face, know that you do have the power to create the life you want. It’s not about running from the life you have. It is about accepting what is, seeing what is, and moving forward from that place. Acceptance does not mean resignation. It means that you fully allow yourself the space, honesty, and trust to embrace your life as it is and transform the parts of it that you wish to transform.
You don’t want to think of it as scrapping everything and starting over. You want to take a look around your metaphorical house and remodel room by room. Decide where you want to start. Maybe it’s your health, your relationship, your finances, your creativity. They are all woven together. So even if you start with one room, you will notice that over time, the other facets of your life shift to align with what your main focus right now is. For example, if you focus on your health, you will have more energy, which in turn allows you to tap into your creativity. If you use your creative energy to generate some income, now suddenly, other doors open.
If you are in a relationship or job that drains you and you leave the relationship or change jobs, all of a sudden, your health gets better, and your energy comes back to you. You can channel that energy into the areas of your life you wish to transform. Remember, it’s all connected. So whether you start with drinking more water, loving yourself more, connecting to your breath, or journaling, if you stay with it, it will lead you somewhere. You can start anywhere. Make a commitment to yourself to choose one thing and stick with it. Then when you feel you are ready, you can add something else.
Wherever you start and whatever you do, nurture that thing, allow it some spaciousness, and breathe life into it. Don’t wait; start now. Remember, you only have this one life, and the number of days you have left is unknown. Make your life a masterpiece. Make your life a movie you would be happy to watch. You’re allowed to edit, but you can’t delete, only transform. Life has everything, joy and sorrow, triumph, and defeat. The magic happens when you use all of it to keep creating. Life is an ocean, don’t just dip your toes in; immerse yourself. Build a boat and sail off to explore new and exciting territory. Happy sailing, dear reader. May the winds of possibility, fierce grace, and strong will fill your sails.
At the end of each blog, I offer questions that you can explore as a means of connecting more deeply to your inner workings and creating the life you want. In order to live life deeply, we must go beyond the surface and have a look around. Sometimes those things we have avoided facing or contemplating can reveal hidden treasure. These creative activations are a great way to find that buried treasure. You can use your insights to enliven, enlighten, inspire and create.
Being honest with yourself and embracing what you find can be very revealing but also liberating and inspiring. If you like this idea, feel free to read previous posts you may have missed and explore the creative activations at the end of each one. You can either incorporate these prompts into your existing journal, or you can dedicate a whole journal solely to the creative activations of the blog posts here.
For those of you who prefer to journal online, you may feel free to copy and paste these questions, which can be a real-time saver. However you choose to do it, may it bring you insight and inspiration. I write these blogs in an interactive manner so that you, the reader, can have some benefit, even after you have read the post.
What does spaciousness mean to you?
Where would you like to create more spaciousness in your life?
What are viable ways you can do that?
What action steps will you engage in to make it happen?
Are you willing to track your journey to see if the spaciousness you are creating is yielding tangible results?
BONUS - return to some of the questions asked within the article, pick your favorites and answer those questions too.
Thank you for playing! : )